When I entered Harlem with the others in my Focolare back in 2020, we entered a neighborhood which was predominantly African-American, African and Hispanic.  We moved from East Village, Manhattan where it was a little on the upper-class side and where the majority were White. Upon arriving in Harlem, we chose a church on the west side which was attended by mostly African and African-Americans. I and a few others were in the minority.  I have to say, I felt a little bit uncomfortable and as if something was blocking me. My desire was to build a relationship with each one as we learned to do, knowing the Focolare, but I didn't have the courage or strength to do this. I remember thinking, I am the stranger here. Others should be welcoming me. I began to engage myself in the church choir which gave me more opportunities to get to know the others if I wanted to. 

Whether in the Church or walking on the streets of Harlem, I remember that it took some effort to reach out to others.  I remember raising my head to smile to people passing by, thinking that.. that might be enough to begin to build a relationship, but I realize soon God was asking something more of me.

Seek and you will find

I realized I'm not going to build a deep relationship with only a smile.  I remember asking God if he would please help me find an Afican-American friend in Harlem, someone I could be close to. But no… what was I thinking, God doesn't work like that. He needs us to do our part.  So, I began to take more time to talk and greet others properly, both inside and outside of the Parish. Over the months, I noticed that something began to happen.  Some of these people I was getting to know would begin to call me their friend, even their best friend.  One Afro-American that I did end up getting closer to, told me straight out, "You have no idea what it means to have a white person approach or to begin to talk to a black person like me.  It's so uncommon, which makes it very striking and moving. It's an act of kindness that we can never forget. It's so heartwarming that I want to tell all my friends who you guys are..”

Recently, I went walking in Midtown Manhattan, on my way to a new church because it was more convenient during my lunch hour. As I walked into the church, I was shocked by the sheer number of White people, and I actually felt quite uncomfortable and a bit sad. I have no harsh feelings or judgement, but it did make me aware that the experience I had made at my Parish and in Harlem had changed me. I had grown closer to people of color.  And as my new friend said, this is something I cannot deny or will ever forget”.

I guess I crossed the bridge at some point and walked closer to an African American, now friend and I thank God for that opportunity and for the answer to my prayer. Seek and you will find, knock on the door will be opened is true. God listens to us and if we're truly sincere, He opens a door in our heart.

- Paul Belcher